Soft Lies, Big Truths

Young people live in the real world like you and me. The contradictions are there and professionals cannot hide them. We give young people hope, we ask young people to have courage, to be brave and optimistic, but we also have to be real. 

So what do we tell young people who are affected by what has happened around Jason Arday recently? That life is full of opportunities for all and this was just an isolated incident?

Do we simply discuss our feelings, our mental health, and how to look after ourselves? 

Hope should not depend on denying reality. The recent death of Jason Arday has not left anybody untouched. 

Beyond the public condemnation of individuals such as Cofnas, sections of the media and social platforms, there is a bigger picture. 

Our institutions are often very good at noticing breaches of rules like plagiarism or misconduct. But they are not so great at recognising cumulative harm.

 What happens to individuals when processes and institutions keep pushing at one person while nobody takes responsibility for the full impact? 

And as we have seen, some people indulge in cruelty and they can still live with themselves. Some people in positions of influence pursue ideological agendas that can and do cause profound harm to others in our community, like these racist ideas about race, intelligence and human difference. 

 For others it can be something much more simple, almost primitive: “I don’t like you, therefore I recruit others to dislike you, and then we can all live happily ever after”. And we are never the baddies.. Most of us could probably think of a few examples without trying too hard. I can. 

If humans survive through groups, through cooperating, belonging and social connections, why are some individuals capable of extreme cruelty and exclusion? 

What drives them? How can people stay within the boundaries of the law and still cause so much harm? And what happens when nobody is accountable for the cumulative impact? 

The accusations of plagiarism became so ridiculous that suddenly Arday was in a prestigious position because our society is pushing the racial equality agenda too hard, not because he deserved to be where he was.

Who gets to decide who deserves to belong?

In our professions, educators, mental health professionals, providers of services for young people, we need to talk about and challenge unjust systems.

 And we need to learn and talk about the people who have challenged unjust systems historically and those who continue to do so. 

 Institutions have responsibilities under the law, but they are also responsible for safeguarding people, professional ethics and protecting human dignity. So what are they doing to prevent cumulative harm, how can this be prevented? 

Mental health for each and one of us works differently. Think for example, neurodiversity, emotional regulation and rejection sensitivity dysphoria. 

What affects you mildly, can cause me big distress or make me spiral into depression. 

Because mental health is just one element within us. We are made by our past, by how we perceive events, by our vulnerabilities and resources. Psychological impact is about how I perceive a situation. But it is also about what an institution does to recognise and prevent a harmful practice, with accountability, law or not law. Because they have ethics and morals. 

Being real 

So beyond offering young people comforting stories because we want to protect them and give them hope, let's give them something much bigger: a sense of agency. 

Parts of our society and institutions that need to be challenged. We need a titanic collective effort to create better institutions for all. The autistic person shouldn't have to educate everybody on neurodiversity or the Black person lecture others on anti-racism. 

 This is the job of everybody. The person experiencing injustice should not automatically have to inherit the responsibility for fixing it!! The greatest responsibility sits with those who hold the greatest power and privilege. 

Every institution, provider, service, has to continue to challenge injustices and ensure that bullying, racism, humiliation or discrimination are not normalised. And if they don’t do that, face the music, with consequences.

 Help young people to move from a sense of helplessness to a sense of agency. 

What can you group of young people do with support  to collectively restore trust in their environment? world? Maybe joining or starting a network, participating in a project, or perhaps start a campaign? Open an advocacy group? 

Then yes, recognise people’s feelings, validate them, do not rush to fix them by finding quick solutions, and hold a space for them to safely express their pain. Talk about emotions, see if the young person affected by an event such as this needs an intervention towards improving self-esteem or confidence, or an intervention to support low mood or depression, or an intervention to help them to regulate strong emotions which if left unsupported, could contribute to conflict or unwanted behaviours, for themselves and for society. 

Develop resilience. But not endurance. Help young people to develop their psychological resources while also helping them to find positive ways to challenge destructive environments. 

It is a work in progress, not a lost battle.

 It takes time and continuous collective effort. It has been done before and it will be done again.

We cannot allow organisations to become compassionate and talk about human dignity once something tragic happens. Because that is not safeguarding. 

We cannot promise young people that every institution will always protect them. Institutions are made of individuals and systems.Those can fail, make mistakes, normalise harmful cultures even just to protect their reputation instead of the people inside them.

 And we do that all of us together, collectively, by people finding one another, organising ourselves, speaking up and refusing to accept that the way things are is the way things have to stay. 

In memory of Professor Jason Arday

Image credit: Amble123/ Wikimedia Commons, CCBY-SA 4.0. Cropped from original